Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2021 11:07 pm
Maybe it was your ethereal being at the Fleurieu AGM last night, Spook. But I didn't spot it.
- no grog.jpg (30.27 KiB) Viewed 5458 times
Page 12 of 19
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:18 am
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:20 am
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2021 9:12 am
I'll drink to that Spook. (But then, (allegedly) I'm easily led. lol.
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 2:12 am
Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
And as I played "Amazing Grace," the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in these septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently, I'm still lost... it's a man thing.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
And as I played "Amazing Grace," the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in these septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently, I'm still lost... it's a man thing.
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 2:29 am
A duck walks into a bar and asks, ‘Do you have any crackers?’ The barman replies, ‘No, I don’t sorry’... so the duck walks out...
5 mins later the duck walks back into the bar and asks, ‘Do you have any crackers’, the barman replies, ‘No I don’t’. So the duck walks out...
5 mins later the duck walks back into the bar, but before he gets a chance to ask his question, the barman firmly and angrily said, ‘If you are going to ask about crackers again, I will nail your beak to the bar!’... so the duck then asks, ‘do you have any nails?’ And the barman says, ‘No I don’t!’ So the duck then asks, ‘Do you have any crackers?’.
5 mins later the duck walks back into the bar and asks, ‘Do you have any crackers’, the barman replies, ‘No I don’t’. So the duck walks out...
5 mins later the duck walks back into the bar, but before he gets a chance to ask his question, the barman firmly and angrily said, ‘If you are going to ask about crackers again, I will nail your beak to the bar!’... so the duck then asks, ‘do you have any nails?’ And the barman says, ‘No I don’t!’ So the duck then asks, ‘Do you have any crackers?’.
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 2:47 am
Ok, some are sillier than others.
Why aren't you on chat, Spook?
Why aren't you on chat, Spook?
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 8:21 am
Nothing wrong with being lost. That was funny it made me laugh
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 11:22 am
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 3:07 pm