Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat May 09, 2020 8:03 am
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Sat May 09, 2020 8:32 am
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Wed May 13, 2020 9:49 am
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu May 14, 2020 9:53 am
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Tue May 19, 2020 8:57 am
Agreed do not stand on the X
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Tue May 19, 2020 12:19 pm
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu May 21, 2020 4:13 am
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu May 21, 2020 9:48 am
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Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu May 21, 2020 10:10 am
Moments of Clarity.
As I sat, strapped in my seat waiting during the countdown, one thought kept crossing my mind .....
every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
-John Glenn
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
- Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
- David Letterman
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire.
- Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
- Italian proverb
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
-Jean Kerr
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
-Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
- Emo Philips.
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
- Harrison Ford
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.
- Spike Milligan
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
- Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
- Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn't make you happier.
I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
- W. H. Auden
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
- Johnny Carson
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
- Arthur C Clarke
As I sat, strapped in my seat waiting during the countdown, one thought kept crossing my mind .....
every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
-John Glenn
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
- Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
- David Letterman
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire.
- Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
- Italian proverb
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
-Jean Kerr
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
-Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
- Emo Philips.
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
- Harrison Ford
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.
- Spike Milligan
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
- Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
- Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn't make you happier.
I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
- W. H. Auden
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
- Johnny Carson
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
- Arthur C Clarke
Re: Endless Jokes
Posted: Thu May 21, 2020 10:56 am
I am a Sagittarius too.